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The Importance of Self-love

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Updated: 11 December, 2023

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Works Cited

  • Baumeister, R. F., & Campbell, J. D. (1999). The Psychology of Self-Esteem: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Understanding that Launched a New Era in Modern Psychology. Jossey-Bass.
  • Branden, N. (1994). The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field. Bantam Books.
  • Chaudhary, H., & Kaur, P. (2015). Role of self-esteem in building healthy relationship among adolescents. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, 6(2), 216-219.
  • Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 392-414.
  • Harter, S. (1999). The Construction of the Self: A Developmental Perspective. Guilford Press.
  • Heatherton, T. F., & Polivy, J. (1991). Development and validation of a scale for measuring state self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(6), 895-910.
  • McKay, M., Fanning, P., & Davis, M. (2007). Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the Adolescent Self-Image. Princeton University Press.
  • Ruffin, J. (2016). Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.
  • Sowislo, J. F., & Orth, U. (2013). Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 213-240.

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love myself essay

The Reasons Why I Love Myself

The Reasons Why I Love Myself

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love myself essay

I pitched this title. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And now I’m staring at my laptop thinking, “Wait.  Do  I love myself?”

Because I definitely don’t love everything about me. And I don’t walk around with some sort of effortless self-love flowing through my veins. So… WHO AM I TO WRITE THIS ARTICLE?

But, then again, I’ve spent 15 years (and a small fortune on therapy) learning to love myself. My life has transformed because of it. I know what loving myself looks like, I know generally how to do it, and I can honestly say that I show love to myself at least as often as I don’t, which is basically twice as often as I used to. All of that to say, this story is written by a person who’s still on the journey.

But along the way, there are four things I’ve learned about loving myself (so far):

1. I HAVE A SELF.

I know, I know. This might sound annoyingly meta. Or maybe just silly. But, for me, it was a critical thing to learn.

Obviously, I knew I existed. What I didn’t know is where I stopped and someone else started. I knew who I was only in relation to other people—I was a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend; then later, an employee, a wife, etc. Very rarely did I think of myself as just  me .

Plus, I was dangerously unaware of what was actually going on in my half of any given relationship. When asked how I felt, or what I wanted, I’d be at a loss to respond. What did the other person want? That’s what I was good at.

It’s understandable how I got to that point.

I’m wired for relationship. It’s one of my highest values and greatest pleasures. I throw myself in, deeply, and I tend to do almost anything to protect it. If I’m not careful, I can lose my “self” in the process.

On top of this, I grew up in a religious setting that emphasized selflessness. I now understand that this is about living a life of sacrifice. It’s about releasing control to a power greater than yourself. But, somehow, the way I heard “ Be selfless.”  was: “ Have no self .” Which fit right in with the way I’m wired and created an endless spiral of self-obliviousness.

For me, the first step to learning to love myself was learning to notice myself. It was a slow process of peeling my identity away from the others I had glued it to. Over time, I learned:

– I am not my family. – I am not my relationships. – I am not what people think of me. – I am not my failures. – I am not my successes.

I am myself. Regardless.

Which led to my next discovery.

2. MY  SELF  DESERVES LOVE.

I’ll be honest. My default setting toward myself is, at best, tolerance, and, at worst, merciless judgment. Left unchecked, I talk to myself with a toxic combination of scolding-mother and disdainful-teen. ( Why am I so stinkin’ sensitive? Why did I say that dumb thing? How could I possibly lose my cell phone in the house again? Why can’t I keep the bathroom floor clean? Sheesh my hair is ridiculous.)

These voices are so natural and familiar to me that, for a long while, I didn’t realize they existed. But one day, my therapist asked if I would speak to another person the way I talk to myself and I was mortified:  Are you kidding?! Never.

It began to dawn on me how damaging it would be for any person to listen to a never-ending monologue about how incapable, frustrating, dense, unattractive, and abnormal she is. Yet this is what I had subjected myself to for years.

I began to wonder what might happen if I changed that voice.

I starting paying attention to how I talk to the people I love, like my friends and my kids. When the healthy, loving people in my life talked to me, I began to listen more closely. I heard kindness and compassion in those voices. I noticed grace for mistakes and a genuine sense of care. And I started trying, as much as possible, to emulate those voices when talking to myself.

This led to my biggest discovery about loving myself.

How I Learned to Love Myself – Wit & Delight

3. LOVE ISN’T A FEELING.

Just as is true for anyone else I love, loving myself doesn’t mean I always feel like I’m the most amazing person on the planet. It doesn’t mean I’m completely enamored by everything I do, or everything I am.

Instead… – Love is the voice I choose to speak to myself with. – Love is the way I treat myself. – Love is protecting myself from things and people that aren’t good for me. – Love is surrounding myself with nourishing things. – Love is believing in myself. – Love is never giving up on myself.

Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice.

And, miraculously, when that choice is made consistently, sometimes it also becomes a feeling.

4. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT ME.

So why is this even important? Is self-love just a veiled excuse for selfishness? Is it all just a bunch of self-help baloney? All I can tell you is how it’s mattered in my own life:

Loving myself has prevented me from expecting other people to carry that weight for me. It helps protect me from crushing disappointment when they can’t. It keeps me from settling for things/people/habits that are harmful to me. And loving myself allows me to do a relationship from a full place vs. an empty one.

Most of all though, when I am able to love myself – the person that I have been most judgmental of, the person who annoys me more than anyone else – then I truly am able to love others. And I know how to let them love me.

HOW LOVE LOOKED TODAY

As I’ve been writing this piece, it’s been a challenging few days. My mind has been foggy, my heart heavy, and my body drained. I wasn’t sure why, and I found myself feeling frustrated, willing myself to feel “normal.” Which only left me feeling more discouraged, of course.

Finally  (sometimes it still takes me a minute), I paid attention to what I might actually be needing. I gave myself a nap, took myself on a walk, got myself some deep breaths of fresh air, fed myself some organic beets, cut myself some slack, talked to a friend, and, eventually, realized I’m grieving some things. I pointed out to myself there are some actual real reasons for feeling a little off this week. And I changed the voices in my head from scolding and impatient to soothing and compassionate.

For me, that’s what loving myself looked like today. And I have to say, it helped.

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love myself essay

Julie Rybarczyk is a freelance writer, fair-weather blogger, and empty-nester mama who’s living alone and liking it . She’s perpetually the chilliest person in Minneapolis—so most of the year you’ll find her under layers of wool, behind steaming cups of tea. Or on the socials at @shortsandlongs.

BY Julie Rybarczyk - December 4, 2018

Like what you see? Share Wit & Delight with a friend: 

“Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice.” This!! So important to remember when it comes to loving yourself as well as anyone else. I realized that with my first love when there were tough times to get through: sometimes you have to decide to love them. And it applies to loving ourselves the same way 🙂

Teresa | outlandishblog.com

very strong essay!

I agree with everything you wrote, but I want to share your advice. Never compare yourself with others, because it always causes a feeling of non-self-sufficiency and self-judgment. Never chase others and strive to be who you are not! You cannot live someone else’s life. Do not try to be like everyone else. Be yourself and go beyond your limits, expand your comfort zone. Who can you compare with? The only person you have to compare yourself with is yourself! I got it from college and my life has improved! Now I work at Write My Essay Online and help …  Read more »

Lovely post and a message to people who are having a hard time with self love, people put on a front and they might seem like they love themselves but in reality and in a horrible place, and this just shines some light on how you can help yourself

Love this article! I wish those people who have committed suicide could read this article once. We are weak inside and that’s the reason we couldn’t survive our lives. We need to start loving ourselves and don’t expect the others. A lot of people live in anxiety which causes health issues and migraine. To come out from this situation we need to learn how to enjoy every second of our life. You can find a lot of blogs on Buy cheap essay sites about self-beliefs.

Yet loving yourself is basic to your self-awareness, to the satisfaction you had always wanted Write My Assignment , and to create healthy, happy relationships with others. Rather than attempting to simply talk yourself into trusting you have self-love.

The blog post is great. The article talks about relationships. You can understand How I Learned to Love Myself by Julie Rybarczyk. There are many things that you are required to do in order to love yourself. Do you know the important things that you should look at to love yourself? The article mentions four things about loving yourself.

It’s amazing. I totally agree with you. Sometimes we forget that we need to love ourselves. And it’s so important to recognize the essential feelings which we must have. Thanks a lot for this piece of writing. By the way, if you need help with writing tasks, you can read more about what I’m doing on https://essays-lab.net/term-paper-writing/ .

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This article is one of the best I have read on this site. I hope many readers will take advantage of your tips and look at themselves with new experiences. I have time for such discussions thanks https://essaysleader.com/essay-about-yourself/

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The Sweetest Way

Learning to Love Myself

A journey of self-love and acceptance begins with understanding that you are enough.

I am enough.

In all of my forms–daughter, sister, friend, writer, traveler, lover.

I am good enough.  I am talented enough.  I am confident.  I am kind.

I seek knowledge.  I show compassion.

I fail.  I get back up.  I am perfectly imperfect.

I know who I am and what I stand for.  I know what I need to change.

I don’t know it all.  I can never know it all.  I admit when I don’t know.

I know how to forgive.  I forgive myself.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”  -Mahatma Gandhi

Inspired by a book I bought for $0.99 earlier this summer, I decided it was time to start loving myself.

And not just in the superficial sense of self-love, like exercising regularly and watching less TV.  It was time to really, fully and wholly love myself–top to bottom, inside and out.

To love myself to the point of waking up every morning with a heart overflowing with gratitude for all I was blessed with in life.  To love myself unconditionally–quirks, flaws, occasional potty mouth and all.  To love myself the way I hoped for someone else to one day love me.  Fiercely, and unafraid to show it.

But this story didn’t start this summer; it’s been a long time in the making.

Well before I stumbled upon this little $0.99 book, maybe a year and a half prior, another pivotal moment in my self-love journey had taken place on a beach on the coast of Spain.  A moment whose weight I didn’t fully comprehend until much later.

It was a brisk summer night and the sand was cold; I was in the midst of a heart-to-heart with someone I’d only known a few days, as tends to happen when you travel.  We passed a small bottle of booze back and forth in an attempt to keep us warm.  Or numb.  Or both.

I don’t quite remember how it escalated to this, but I distinctly remember crying as I looked out over the inky black sea.

We were talking about relationships and why mine–past and present–never seemed to go so well.  I had trust issues, compounded by the fact that I had a proclivity for attracting the untrustworthy types.

And then a rather unexpected question was posed to me, a question that left me speechless for all the wrong reasons.  Again, my memory of this night is a bit fuzzy after all this time, but the question was something along the lines of:

“Are you happy with who you are?”

I couldn’t find the words to respond.  Not because I didn’t know the answer, but rather because I knew it instantly.

After a few suffocating moments of silence, the best I could do was shake my head “no” as more tears, now double the size, rolled down my face.

I didn’t like who I was or who I had been.  I most certainly didn’t love myself.  And it was in that moment I came to the crushing realization that it was all my fault .

It wasn’t for lack of trying.  I wanted to love myself–desperately, even.  But what I eventually came to understand was this:

When you’re making poor choices, choices that defy what you know in your heart to be right, you never will know self-love.

The months leading up to that moment in Spain had been particularly difficult for me.  I reached a truly low point in terms of my self-esteem, and it was all because of a series of choices I’d made–choices that I was not proud of, and did not reflect the kind of person I wanted to be.

And in that moment, those poor choices came rushing back to me all at once, swallowing me up in a tidal wave of shame and regret.  Sure, I might have cried first for my failed and failing relationships that night, but in the end, I cried hardest for the person I never allowed myself to become.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but a series of subconscious choices had just been made.

To start living up to my own potential.  To start making myself proud.  To start living my truth.

First Came Choices

Every day, we are choosing.  We may not choose our circumstances, but we choose how we react.  In fact, the only thing truly within our control is ourselves and our choices.  It’s all we have.

So even when other people hurt us, when our pain is the direct result of someone else’s choices, the choice is still ours whether we let that pain suffocate us, or if we let it go.  Move on.  Forgive.

For far too long, I felt the pain and emotional bruising from distant moments I should have long-since forgiven as sharply as if they had just happened yesterday.  For far too long, I held onto resentment, blaming others for my choices.

The choice to numb the pain with too much alcohol too often.  The choice to keep traveling when my body screamed to slow down.  The choice to spend undue time and emotional energy on relationships that weren’t meant for me.

I was all too aware of my faults, and for far too long, I had done nothing to correct them.  I was avoiding responsibility for the shitty outcomes of my poor choices which, as one of my favorite authors points out, wasn’t doing me any favors.

We all love to take responsibility for success and happiness…But taking responsibility for our problems is far more important, because that’s where real learning comes from.  That’s where real-life improvement comes from.  To simply blame others is only to hurt yourself.  -Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

That summer, a few months after that rude awakening on that beach on the coast of Spain, I knew my business needed to start supporting me financially or I would be up a shit creek (probably somewhere in the Serbian countryside) without a paddle.

And so I made the choice, over and over again, to put my work ahead of my own pleasure.

In hostels, I sat hunched over my laptop, surrounded by travelers hell bent on distracting me.  Other times, I purposely isolated myself.  I sat alone in the corner, or alone in my dorm room, or alone at the dining table in the middle of the afternoon when everyone else was out enjoying the beach.

Funnily enough, I still found plenty of time to enjoy myself, too.  But the best part of it all was the sense of pride that arose from finally making choices that aligned with what I wanted in my heart–for this thing called blogging to be my ticket to the life I’d been chasing for two years now, a life of freedom and being my own boss.

When I finally began making choices that I respected, my “luck” began to change.  Seemingly all at once, I signed four new client contracts.  For a brief moment, I could breathe again–I wouldn’t have to go crawling back to a “real” job just yet.

The positive changes that came out of that summer were all the reassurance I needed to know that I was on the right path, that I was inching ever closer to living my truth, to knowing myself, and ultimately loving myself.

Then Came Growth

As time wore on, personal development became my addiction.  I dedicated late nights and early mornings to my work.  In my leisure time, I read self-help books.

Much like the early lessons, the new lessons I was learning didn’t always register right away.  I had to chew on them for awhile to release the subtleties, the nuances, the complexities.

But all the while, I could feel myself changing.  I could feel myself growing more aware of who I was, how I acted, even what my heart wanted (some might call that “intuition”)–and that awareness allowed me to make better choices and know when to alter my course.

This summer, I bought that little $0.99 book.  I bought the Kindle version, except I don’t actually have a Kindle, so I read it on my phone using the Kindle app.  I read it every night as I laid in bed, this time on a Spanish island.

That book was called Choose Yourself , and it was written by a man named James Altucher.

You may not have heard of ol’ James, but he has founded many companies and made millions.  Some self-help guru, right?

But of course, as it always goes, there’s much more to this story.  James also lost millions.  Sunk businesses.  Destroyed relationships.  Lost his home.  Went through a divorce.

Of the 20 companies he founded, 18 of them were failures.  In 2008, at his lowest of lows and in the midst of the worst economic depression since the 1930s–with no job, no friends, and no money–he nearly lost the will to live.

His life insurance policy worth $4 million suddenly seemed like the best chance for his kids to have a decent life.

“There is no way out.  There is no way out .  I kept repeating it in my head.  I felt like I could will myself to death with those words.  But I couldn’t.  I had kids.  I had to get better.   I had to .”  -James Altucher, Choose Yourself

Feeling someone else’s pain, even through the vast distances of space and time, always helps put our own pain into perspective.  It doesn’t diminish it or make it any less real, but it helps us to realize that if someone can be pushed to such extremes and still find the power to choose themselves , well, so can we.

James developed what he referred to as “The Daily Practice” which centered around taking care of himself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  He was putting himself first, choosing himself in every way.

That month I spent living in a shared apartment on a Spanish island became my dedicated month of self-care.  I took James’s words to heart and began choosing myself in every way.

I curbed my wine consumption.  I put myself to bed early and woke up early.  I reintroduced regular exercise into my routine.  I practiced gratitude daily.

I found my way back to yoga, which has been perhaps the most transformative practice of all.

The very first intention I set on that very first day was the very thing that drew me back to the mat in the first place: to know myself.

One major difference between this new undertaking and my casual yoga habit of days past is that I no longer regarded it as a fitness tool.  Breaking free from that old assumption (and the desire to look good in yoga pants) allowed me to see yoga for what it really was: a powerful vehicle for self-exploration.

For me, it is the ultimate display of self-love, showing up on my mat for a moment of mindfulness.  A great butt and toned tummy–should they appear one day–would simply be a side effect of choosing myself.

And my god, it felt so good to choose myself for once.  And that month of self-care?  It’s been extended indefinitely.

Good choices beget good choices, as it turns out, and what started as a painful personal challenge on a beach on the coast of Spain has now become something of a habit.

That’s not to say that life is fine and dandy as a result or that I don’t still experience deep pain.  I endure bouts of crushing self-doubt on a near-daily basis.  I torment myself with “what ifs” that have no right to take up headspace.  I still sometimes wonder–and maybe I always will– what if this all comes crashing down tomorrow?

But self-love is a process, one that will never be truly complete.  There will always be more I could improve, more I can learn, more kindness I can show to myself and others.

And in the vein of extending that kindness to myself, I constantly need reminding that yes, I am deeply flawed in many ways, but that is what makes me human, and I deserve love anyway.

I am still on the path to loving myself and to knowing and living my truth.  I can say in all honesty that I love myself now more than ever, and I know I will come to love myself more deeply in the future.

What’s most important, however, no matter where I am in the process of self-love is to remember…

I am enough .

Are you ready to embark on your own journey to self-love? Download my FREE Self-Love Daily Practice and begin repairing your relationship with yourself today.

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love myself essay

acceptance Choose Yourself James Altucher Mark Manson personal development personal growth self-love The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck yoga

  • By Leah Davis
  • October 23, 2016 May 31, 2019

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Self-Love: The Most Important Love of your Life

  • Embracing You Therapy
  • February 16, 2021

there's a hanging chair surrounded by plants, and the words "self-love" are inscribed on the wall, creating a serene and nurturing atmosphere.

We hear it all the time: “Love yourself!” We hear how loving ourselves is the most important, most beneficial thing we can do. But what we sometimes don’t hear, or fail to understand, is how . What is self-love? What does it mean to practice it? How do we begin to do so?

a woman standing on top of a mountain with her arms raised with sun rising towards her

Self-love is having a relationship with yourself that has compassion, kindness, patience, tolerance, and curiosity. It does not mean that you are so nice to yourself that you never take accountability or responsibility for mistakes you made – “Oh, well, I really love myself and think I’m great, so that couldn’t possibly be my fault!” Self-love is about giving yourself grace and forgiveness when you inevitably make mistakes. It doesn’t mean that you are arrogant, or even worse – a narcissist; “I am better than everyone else, and everyone should work to satisfy my needs.” It is about believing in yourself and trusting yourself and your intentions.

Because the relationship you have with yourself is the only truly life-long relationship, self-love is the most important love of your life.

Why is it important?

Because you can’t share healthy love with others until you love yourself. You may feel love for others, but you may not be able to express it without fear. You may love others and want to relate to them but struggle to receive healthy love if you don’t love yourself first. The exchange of love in a healthy relationship requires concrete self-love.

Because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Think of the effort it takes to give love and affection, be emotionally available, or be thoughtful. If you don’t have reserves of self-love inside, your ability to give love will be diminished.

Because self-love heals past trauma and wounds. Many of us have been through trials in our lives that impacted our mental health, our sense of self, our outlook, and our world view. Often, traumas leave us feeling as though we are worth less than we were before the incident. Cultivating our sense of self-love to come from internal and not external sources allows us to move beyond negative past experiences.

Because once you have self-love, you can set better, healthier, more authentic goals for yourself. How many times have you set a goal for yourself that was rooted in negativity: hating the way your body looked, or feeling powerless at work, or feeling like a “failure” in a hobby or passion? When we love ourselves, we no longer seek to “fix” ourselves with unreasonable standards but instead seek to nourish ourselves. We have more accurate knowledge of our worth and our skills and can adjudicate what would be most beneficial to strive toward.

Most importantly, because you are deserving of the love you give so freely to others. This statement needs no explanation. You are worthy, just as you are, of love.

A woman wearing a blue sweater appears joyful.

Self-love involves having the respect and consideration for yourself that you have for (and expect to receive from) others. It should be simple and straightforward, the idea that we treat ourselves at least as well as we treat the people in our lives, but sometimes, it is not. Occasionally, we get hung up or stuck on the idea of how self-love should look or our sense of worth. We want to self-love, but we struggle to do so. 

There are three widespread barriers to self-love.

What gets in the way of self-love?

1) When the inner critic disapproves of your every move :

love myself essay

Your inner critic is the voice in your head that judges, criticizes, and mocks your every move. When the inner critic is loud and powerful, you are your own worst enemy. It hits you where it hurts: the mistake you made when parenting, or when you were leading the meeting at work, and it won’t let it go. It can be challenging to put the inner critic away, as it tends to feed itself: you make a mistake, the inner critic talks to you about it, you’re flustered and unable to let it go, your outlook changes, your mood drops, you say something unkind or thoughtless because you’re in a bad mood, the inner critic gets louder, you’re stressed out, the inner critic gets even louder… It has a snowball effect.  

When you are unable to silence your inner critic, you carry your inner critic with you from place to place, event to event.

2) When you have high expectations of yourself:

There is a difference between having standards and having expectations that are too high. Standards can be a tool of self-love; “I will not tolerate being spoken to disrespectfully,” or “I expect the people in my life to respect my boundaries.” Putting pressure on yourself to meet impossible standards is the opposite. 

Side view portrait of a woman drinking coffee and looking outdoors through a window of an hotel room or home with the sea in the background.

When you have unrealistic expectations, you ultimately can not attain them or sustain them. You then feel like a failure or inadequate. When our expectations are too high, we set ourselves up to “fail” and begin to punish ourselves for not measuring up. It is hard to feel grace towards ourselves when we feel like we are just not enough. It is hard to be patient with ourselves when we feel like we should have already achieved a goal. It is hard to allow ourselves rest and relaxation when we don’t think we have excelled at a task or project. When we de-value ourselves over our perceived shortcomings, we then struggle to show ourselves kindness and care.

3) When it was not modeled for you:

As with everything in life, self-love is a skill you can learn. Our early life experiences have a great impact on the way we experience and practice self-love. I once read a great quote online that said, “Be careful with the way you speak to your child; it becomes their inner voice.”  

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If you were spoken with love and compassion as a child, you have a much easier time internalizing love and self-love. If you did not grow up in an environment with kind voices or a self-destructive parent raised you, it can be difficult to navigate loving yourself as an adult, but it is not impossible! The beauty of self-love is that you already have tons of kindness inside you because you give it to the people around you. There is nothing wrong with you if you are struggling with self-love. As adults, for us to have self-love and compassion, we need to be taught. From there, as with all skills, we need to practice.

The great thing about putting self-love into practice is that understanding why we may struggle with self-love and where those struggles may have originated is already an act of self-love. By reflecting on our experiences and habits, we are doing the kind of work that allows us to have compassion for ourselves, and compassion is an essential ingredient for honest love.

Once we are aware that we need more love for ourselves, we can begin to overcome the obstacles that stand in our way with tools that can be used at any time, in any place. When we put these tools to use, we not only treat ourselves with love and care on the inside but begin to express that self-love to the world. Our thoughts become our actions, which become our behavior. Our behavior dictates our standards, and we (and others) are compelled to meet them.

How do you engage in self-love? 3 Tools to practice and strengthen your self-love!

1) Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you love:

Think of the things you say to yourself when you are frustrated, upset, or embarrassed. Now imagine saying those things to a loved one like a friend, partner, or family member. Would you? Now imagine that friend, partner, or family member is sitting opposite you, saying those negative things about him/her/themself. How would you respond? 

Dr. David Burns has a tool called “the double standard” in his book “The Feeling Good Handbook.” He suggests that you can pretend someone you love is having the same negative self-talk you are having right now. Pretend they were saying those thoughts to you and write down how you would respond to them. 

This is a great tool because it works on more than one level: the first thing it does is stop the thoughts in their tracks when you imagine these angry or unfair words about a loved one. Would I speak to a friend this way? No. Would I be comfortable hearing a friend talk about him/her/themself this way? No. As we discussed above, negative self-talk can begin to spiral and become unmanageable. Nipping it in the bud can help to rein it in a little. Whether or not you have a lot of time to address the talk and analyze what you might say to a friend in a similar situation, you have successfully paused the narrative. This is when the next level of this tool sets in unpacking what was said and responding with kindness. Even if you don’t have the time to debrief the incident right at that moment fully, you can return to it later when you are in a safe space to do so.

2) Self-care:

You might think that you will be unable to provide yourself with self-care until you are a professional at self-live, but this is not the case. Acts of self-care inform your mindset, the way actions that lead to behaviors always do.   

You may think that self-care is “a spa day” or involves being selfish, but that is not true. Self-care is simply any action that is taken with the intent of meeting your needs, whether they’re physical or emotional. It is not selfish to practice self-care because it brings the best version of you to the world. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You need to learn to fill up your cup; if you are not well, nothing and no one around you will be well. 

While it is true that, for some, a trip to the spa is their ultimate act of self-care, there are many more acts of self-care that can be taken. You can phone a friend or loved one to chat or do a quick meditation. You can go for a walk or watch a YouTube video about unlikely animal friendships. You can set a sleep schedule for yourself. You can learn to cook your favorite dish. You can write a list of self-care acts that you would enjoy and work on checking off every item on your list! Watch a movie. Drink more water. Make a list of the things in your life that you are grateful for. Pour yourself a bubble bath, light a bunch of candles, and put on your favorite podcast. The possibilities are endless, and they’re all correct, as long as they work for you.

3) Boundaries:

One of the best ways to grow our self-love is to be able to self-advocate. In standing firm in and expressing our needs, we provide ourselves with care and respect. Setting boundaries with ourselves and others is a great way to communicate and strive for our needs. 

Boundaries start with identifying what they are and then asserting them. The process of identification affirms our worth of having them in the first place; it is through knowledge of our worth that we nurture the support and compassion we deserve to give to ourselves. Taking the time and making an effort to stick to our boundaries is ongoing self-care. When we set boundaries, we define our values and clarify our goals; we know what is important, and we know ourselves well enough to be realistic about our purpose. 

When our boundaries are expressed to others, the end result is that we find ourselves surrounded by people who respect us, fostering an environment of respect that we have the emotional support to uphold. A boundary is a protection of sorts; when we establish and enforce a boundary, we protect ourselves. Think of the people in your life about whom you feel protective. You know that part of the reason you work to protect them is that you love them. Protecting ourselves in healthy ways, through selected boundaries, is showing ourselves, love.

Personal space and Relationship. Being individual , Psychology concept drawn by young girl

When we are working at utilizing our self-love engagement tools, it is important to keep in mind that sometimes it might be harder to express our self-love than others. When this happens, we can remind ourselves that “love” and “like” are two separate things: you probably always love your best friend, even if sometimes you don’t like their behavior, or you feel frustrated that they’re not making as much time for you right now. Self-love is the same: expressing and practicing it might sometimes feel like more of a challenge or more of a struggle to find the love at all. But as is the case with your friendship, you know that there is always love there. Remind yourself of the same thing: even at times when you struggle to utilize the tools at hand, or you feel like it’s dwindled, that love does live inside of you. Be kind to and patient with yourself; nurture your self-love gently.

A year ago, we might not have been able to foresee spending so much time with ourselves. Whether you have been alone in lockdown or sharing space with only one other person or working within a much smaller bubble, the fact is that we have been less “busy” socially. As a result of this, we have had far fewer emotional distractions; external validation and stimulation have dropped significantly for most of us. This time has probably brought to light some introspection and self-analysis. 

Self-love doesn’t mean that you are perfectly content to be alone; self-love allows your inner peace with your thoughts. If the past twelve months have taught us anything, it is that the only guaranteed company we keep throughout our lives is ourselves. Our thoughts and feelings about ourselves won’t always be glowing and joyful, but the work we do to have kindness and compassion for ourselves is immeasurably beneficial.

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Let’s learn what drives your unique perspective on anxiety and stress. Then, let’s find the tools-your unique tools-that help you respond to life in a healthy, calm way. Contact us today for your complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with one of our Client Care Coordinators.

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Tiny Buddha

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia 

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it.

Leo has it right.

Love yourself.

Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself . Love yourself.

Tattoo it on your brain.

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who do not love themselves.

I spent many years being anorexic and feeling like I was a monster. I’m sure I was not much fun to be around, and I also know that I didn’t book any of the acting jobs I was trying to land. It is very challenging to hire someone or love someone who fights you by holding up a mirror of hatred toward themselves.

Here’s my challenge for you today: Take a picture of your face and remember that in ten years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous you were. Be amazed now.

Identify something about you that you may not adore and find a way to at least laugh at it or like it, even a little bit.

I have profound hearing loss; in fact, I am almost deaf and wear hearing aids. I have ringing in my ears twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Does it drive me mad most days? Yes. However, it’s here to stay, and I have learned that I can make light of it, or I can sit home and feel sorry for myself because I am missing out on what feels like everything.

Either way, the choice is mine to make.

I have also learned that because of my hearing loss, my other senses are highly attuned. I am more compassionate because of it. I am a healer.

I have turned something I don’t necessarily “love” having into another piece in the puzzle of me, and part of why I love that puzzle.

Instead of thinking “I am an incomplete human being because I can’t hear perfectly,” I think “I am an incredible human being with a profound sense of touch and understanding and a huge capacity for love. I am also awesome at reading lips. So there.”

What can you love about yourself today that you may have struggled with before?

Can you find a way to cultivate the opposite? According to Pantajali’s Yoga Sutra 2.33, “When the mind is disturbed by improper thoughts constant pondering over the opposites is the remedy.”

Forgive yourself.

I lead a meditation in my workshops on forgiveness, and every time, without fail, people start crying. Almost everyone in the room will have at least shed a tear. This leads me to believe that we are all indeed connected, a union—which is what the word Yoga means.

The human experience is so similar, and yes, I know the details are vastly different, and that the devil lies in the details, but we still share the same weight on our shoulders. That weight would be diminished if we chose to forgive instead of harboring guilt or anger.

People cry most in my workshops when we do the meditation on forgiving yourself . Most likely it’s because we are hardest on ourselves.

What can you forgive yourself for today?

I forgive myself for saying “I hate you” to my father right before he died when I was eight years old. I carried it around for many years and let it color my life a dark airless color.

I forgive myself for not being perfect .

This shift occurred was when I was finally able to let go of my eating disorder. We often hold ourselves to impossible standards and end up feeling bad.

Ask yourself honestly, “What can I forgive myself for?”

Sometimes it takes simply saying it aloud or writing it down to realize that you actually no longer need to bear the brunt of it.

Be good to yourself.

Do things that you inspire you daily. Make a list. Grab your iPad or your notepad or even your hand and draw up a list of things you can do today to make you feel good.

Keep adding to the list. Forgive yourself if you skip a couple and love yourself no matter how long or short the list is and how much you accomplish on it.

You will not be graded or tested on this list.

My list involves a lot of laughing.  My “Feel Good” list also has: my yoga practice, teaching yoga classes, writing, a long leisurely dinner with friends, having a great glass of wine, staying up all night reading a book I cannot put down, being with kids who have special needs and teaching them yoga, poetry, Modern Family, skyping with my nephews, and the list goes on.

Do something every single day that makes you feel good , whether it is changing your thought patterns or taking a bath while reading a magazine in the tub.

Maybe it’s getting an extra hour of sleep or staying up late and watching Pretty Woman for the 50 th time.

Pleasure and joy are highly underrated and beating ourselves, up highly overrated. Flip it! Cultivate the opposite.

One of my main rules as a yoga teacher is that if you fall, you must laugh and take down your neighbor, which cultivates a sense of humor, and hopefully a little joy. You need at least a little joy daily. Sprinkle it on your cereal, slip it in your downward facing dog, add it to your pinot noir.

Accept that you are indeed the source of many wonderful things. If you need help remembering what they are from time to time, keep making your feel good lists. Keep coming back to the love that is inherently yours. It is your birthright. And so it is.

Whatever it takes. Just do it.

A student told me after she returned from my July Ojai retreat that she wanted to live her life every day as if she was still on the retreat. And why shouldn’t she? What a revelation! What a revolution of the mind.  

Be good to yourself. You will train other people to do the same.

And guess what? If they aren’t good to you, you will still have your old standby who is always good to you: YOU. Pretty much what matters most at the end of the day. You being good to you. The rest will follow.

Remember the 90’s En Vogue song, with the lyrics “Free your mind, the rest will follow”?

It will. So get up and dance.

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About Jennifer Pastiloff

Jen is the founder of Manifestation Yoga . She teaches yoga all over. Find her on Twitter and Facebook . She also started GAME Yoga. Gifts And Miracles Everyday: Free Yoga for Kids w/ Special Needs .

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love myself essay

Learning To Self Love And The Impact Of Self Love

When some people think of “self-love,” they may think it sounds selfish or self-indulgent, but developing a loving relationship with yourself can be very important for many aspects of your life—including your physical and mental health and your relationships with others. If you struggle with loving yourself, you may experience low self-esteem and low self-confidence, and you may have a hard time feeling good about yourself unless someone else is providing you with validation.

Embarking on the journey to self-love can be challenging at times, so it may be helpful to consider a few strategies for cultivating self-love, such as being mindful, setting boundaries, and focusing on your happiness. Understanding the importance of self-love can help you make the right decision to prioritize your well-being and accept the reality that taking care of yourself is essential for a successful and fulfilling life.

People use self-love today to mean many things. Ultimately, self-love involves accepting yourself as you are and treating yourself with love, compassion, and kindness.

Self-love is important because it can affect many areas of your life, including your physical health, mental health, and relationships with others. By practicing self-love, you can experience joy and peace, leading to a more successful and fulfilling story in life.

Self love can affect your physical and mental health

It can affect your relationships with others.

When you love who you are and treat yourself with kindness and compassion, you may be more able to extend these same feelings toward others while also being attuned to your own needs and boundaries. This can allow for healthier, more positive relationships. Research indicates that individuals possessing self-compassion display “more positive relationship behavior” than those who lacked self-love and self-compassion.

1. Try to improve your self-talk

Some people may grapple with harsh self-talk that is not loving and can even lower self-esteem. This could involve saying things such as, "I am not good at anything," "I can't do anything right," or anything else that tears them down.

If this is something you deal with, you might want to try an exercise to fill your thoughts with more positive, loving phrases. For instance, you can decide to begin a journey towards a healthier mindset by writing down 10 things that you like about yourself. It could be anything, big or small—maybe you're a great cook, you're a good listener, you are good at your job, you're a good friend, or you're a successful athlete or musician. Then, on a daily basis, stand in front of a mirror and read the list out loud. This may help you to start replacing some of the negative self-talk with more loving, positive ideas and start to feel confident about your intrinsic worth.

For another approach to improve your self-talk, consider trying the following: when you notice a thought about yourself arise, consider if you would think it about a good friend. Sometimes, many of us are harsher on ourselves than we would be on a friend. If you wouldn't say those words to a friend you love, you might not want to say them about yourself either. Set boundaries for your inner dialogue and practice self-love and kindness as you would with others.

Positive self-talk isn’t just good for our self-esteem. Studies have found that positive self-talk may be linked to improved cardiovascular health, lower depression rates, better coping skills during tough times, reduced risk of death from cancer, and more.

2. Practice forgiving yourself 

For other situations, it may be helpful to sit down and journal about the situations and the things that you are having trouble forgiving yourself for or letting go of. You can allow yourself to process certain emotions that you have from the situation, see the plain facts of the situation, and take responsibility as appropriate. As you read through what you’ve written, you may be able to see a new perspective and gain a sense of peace.

Though it may feel difficult to do, forgiveness and letting go can be powerful forms of self-love that can extend into your relationships with others. After all, learning how to be compassionate and forgiving toward yourself can be taught, and it may allow you to be more compassionate to others, as well.

3. Track your successes

If you’d like to try this, you could try making a list at the end of each day of at least three things you have done well that day as a form of self-care. These could be anything that you count as a “success:” Maybe you were a good listener to a friend, or you made a healthy dinner, or you completed a good workout, or you gave a great presentation at work. Whatever the size, try to track it and celebrate it. By doing this often, you may find that it helps you to build your confidence and love for yourself. 

Learning to love yourself may also involve acknowledging and addressing any unfulfilled dreams or aspirations that may be contributing to a sense of pain or dissatisfaction in the present. This may involve taking steps to pursue those dreams or finding new goals and passions to pursue. It can also involve being present in the moment and cultivating a sense of mindfulness and gratitude for the present, even while working towards future goals. A sense of purpose and meaning can contribute to a greater sense of self-love and fulfillment. 

Online therapy has been shown to be effective for a variety of concerns, including self-esteem. For instance, one study examined the effectiveness of an online depression intervention to investigate the benefits of self-esteem, empowerment, and other “secondary” benefits. The study found immediate improvements in participants’ self-esteem and empowerment.  

User reviews

Read below for reviews from individuals who have used BetterHelp for similar challenges:

“It’s been a hard couple of months and I’m so grateful the universe (or BetterHelp algorithm) has paired me with Katrice Hollins. Katrice is extremely patient, professional, non-judgemental, supportive and such a helpful guide as I navigate my recent breakup, insecurities in my sexuality, family trauma, and insecurities. She responds in a very timely manner and in a way that I know she’s listening and has my best interests at heart. With her guidance, I am learning to set a foundation of self-love and strong boundary setting in a way I’ve never established before.”

love myself essay

“Stephanie was nothing but a wonderful counselor. She is an amazing listener who helped me realize the importance of my well-being and self-love as I went through several transitions in my life. She is easy to talk to and provides tools and ideas for dealing with a variety of emotional issues. I really appreciate all of her help, and I am beyond grateful for her.”

love myself essay

It's important to remember that building self-love is beneficial not only for you but also for those around you, especially children. Children learn how to love and treat themselves by observing the adults in their lives. By cultivating self-love, you are setting a positive example and helping to break the cycle of negative self-talk and self-criticism. Addressing any anger or negative feelings towards yourself can also be an important point of focus in building self-love. If you are experiencing challenges in building self-love and would like further guidance, online therapy may be able to help.

Why is loving yourself beneficial? Is loving someone worth the sacrifice? What makes loving ourselves difficult?

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7 Ways to Practice Self-Love

Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

love myself essay

Ivy Kwong, LMFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, love and intimacy, trauma and codependency, and AAPI mental health.  

love myself essay

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What Is Self-Love?

How to practice self-love.

Having self-love involves having an appreciation and respect for yourself. That includes taking care of your physical and mental health. Although most people are busy, it's important to take time to nourish yourself and treat yourself with the love and kindness you deserve.

Self-love is having regard for our own well-being and contentment according to the American Psychological Association.

While self-care proponents suggest taking baths and getting massages, loving yourself goes much deeper than splurging once in a while on pleasures like these.

Self-love should be a daily activity in which you check in with yourself and treat yourself the way we treat loved ones.

The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation says that self-love comes from actions that support physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.

What Self-Love Is Not

Some critics think self-love is a modern concept and is merely self-indulgence. They view self-love as excessively focusing on yourself and akin to narcissism . But self-love is not about having a grandiose sense of self or being puffed up with self-importance. Self-love means taking care of your needs and recognizing that you have value.

The Importance of Self-Love

Your first relationship is with yourself and it’s the foundation of relationships with others. Loving yourself enables you to live in alignment with your values and to make healthy choices in your everyday decisions.  Confidence , self-respect, self-worth, and self-love are all interconnected. As we deepen in love for ourselves, we can deepen the love we share with others.

Sometimes it’s hard to assert yourself and think about your own needs. While it might be considerate to practice self-love here and there, it's important to make it a daily practice .

Here’s how to incorporate self-love into your lifestyle.

Prioritize Your Well-Being and Mental Health 

Your physical and mental health are directly correlated and how you feel physically can influence how you feel mentally and emotionally. When you begin loving and caring for your body, you’re directly and positively influencing your mental health, too.  Eating and sleeping well  is important in maintaining well-being and warding off illness. That means choosing healthy foods and getting adequate sleep every night.

Exercising regularly has a positive impact on your overall health as exercise decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, in your body.

Remember to give yourself time to take care of and value yourself. Struggling with mental health issues might require visiting a therapist, choosing online therapy , or turning to an app .

Embrace Self-Compassion

When you acknowledge your mistakes and accept your imperfections with kindness and without judgment, you exhibit  self-compassion . Dr. Kristin Neff’s widely accepted definition of self-compassion has three components:

  • Self-kindness : feeling kindness toward ourselves rather than judgment, criticism, or shame
  • Common humanity : recognizing we are part of a common humanity as everyone makes mistakes rather than viewing ourselves as isolated beings unworthy of love and belonging
  • Mindfulness : viewing mistakes mindfully by having a perspective and not over-identifying with our failings

In a pilot study on self-compassion, scientists empirically tested the use of a writing intervention to determine if these self-compassion components influenced each other. Findings showed that the three components do mutually enhance each other.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People

When we are jealous of our friend’s promotion or feel we are lacking because we gained ten pounds while our neighbor is in great shape, it’s hard not to feel down. Social comparisons can cause stress. Comparison and competition may motivate you in ways that are helpful and not harmful. More often than not, they diminish us by causing stress, anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Social media has affected our mental health in not-so-great ways. We judge ourselves more harshly on a regular basis and don't feel good enough.  High social media use has been linked to depression.

Set Boundaries

Drawing the line helps with stress management . Sometimes you have to say 'no' at work or to your family to preserve your energy. One-sided relationships have unequal distribution of energy, control, and thoughtfulness. Recognize your needs and carve out time to be thoughtful about yourself by setting boundaries.

Forgive Yourself

Cultivate ways to stop self-loathing in any form. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and find ways to heal. To incorporate self-love in your daily life, don’t ruminate over mistakes and regrets. Rather than blame yourself for things that were probably out of your control anyway, turn to self-forgiveness.

A recent study finds that greater forgiveness is linked to less stress and a decrease in mental health symptoms.

Surround Yourself With Supportive, Loving people

Having social support is vital. You could reach out to receive your  family’s love  for you but if those relationships are strained or they’re not in the picture, invest in relationships with your friends and community and allow yourself to receive care and support from them.

Let go of toxic, draining, and one-way friendships. The goal is to fortify yourself with healthy interactions and people who believe in you, champion you, and support you in becoming more of who you are and want to be, not less.

If you think you’re in love  but aren’t sure, remember that healthy relationships involve intimacy and deep emotional connection. Invest your time, energy, and care into platonic and romantic relationships that support, energize, and restore you.

Change a Negative Mindset

Positive thinking  doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means choosing to have a positive outlook as an approach to life that includes gratitude and many possibilities. Maybe it’s time to seek support to process your anger and  release resentment and grudges , for example.

Holding onto and fixating on anger and hatred towards others can be damaging to our mental and emotional well-being and it can be an act of self-love and care to address it at the root cause.

Say kind things to yourself.  Positive affirmations  can boost your self-esteem and reduce your social fears. Remind yourself that you’re a kind person doing your best. Changing your perspective and focusing on things that you are grateful for and appreciative of can be immensely uplifting and is another way to practice self-love.

APA Dictionary of Psychology. Self-love .

The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation. Self-love and what it means .

Rudolph DL, McAuley E. Cortisol and affective responses to exercise .  J Sports Sci . 1998;16(2):121-128. doi:10.1080/026404198366830

Self-Compassion: Dr. Kristin Neff. Definition of self-compassion .

Dreisoerner A, Junker NM, van Dick R. The relationship among the components of self-compassion: a pilot study using a compassionate writing intervention to enhance self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness . J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(1):21-47.

Toussaint LL, Shields GS, Slavich GM. Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: a 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study .  Ann Behav Med . 2016;50(5):727-735. doi:10.1007/s12160-016-9796-6

By Barbara Field Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

Youth First

Learning to Love Yourself

love myself essay

By Jaclyn Durnil, MSW – Dec. 3, 2019

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.” – Kristen Chenowith

Why is it so difficult to love ourselves? Basically, the short answer to this question is that we were raised in a society that didn’t teach us about self-love. This may not seem very important to some, but self-love is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Loving yourself provides you with self-confidence, self-worth, and in general, you feel more positive. If you can learn to love yourself, you will feel happier and will learn to take better care of yourself.

Looking in the mirror, most of us see a lot of different flaws and remember too many past experiences and failings to love ourselves. The less you love yourself, listen to yourself, and understand yourself, the more confused, upset, and frustrated you will be in life. When you begin to love yourself and continue to love yourself more and more each day, things slowly will be a little bit better in every way possible.

Unfortunately, self-love isn’t always easy. 

Accepting the pain and allowing yourself to be honest with who you are is a big step to loving yourself. Forgive yourself for past actions and things you are ashamed of doing.

Carrying a lot of negative emotions like jealousy, disgust, and rage can have a negative impact. We need to learn how to accept not only the emotions that create love, joy, and happiness but also the ones that cause fear, insecurity, and anger in our lives.

While we need to learn how to acknowledge and accept the pain with the love, another step is reconciling with a cold and unopened heart. Asking yourself if you fully love yourself can be very difficult because you must accept your flaws and faults.

Love is something we choose, the same way we choose anger, hate, or sadness. We have the power to forgive someone who has hurt us in the past. We can learn to finally heal from something when we can forgive. We can always choose love.

Learning to love yourself leads to better self-care. Examples of this could be taking a break from time to time and accepting that no one is perfect and things happen.

Another example could be saying no to others when you really don’t have the time or energy to say yes. We often do too much for other people because we want to please everyone. We can forget to look after ourselves and then we become overwhelmed.

Today is the day you can love yourself completely with no expectations. Making the choice right now to choose your own love is the most powerful healing force you have.

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love myself essay

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Home Essay Samples Life Myself

How I Learned to Love Myself

Table of contents, the genesis of self-reflection, celebrating uniqueness, forging a compassionate connection, shattering the illusion of perfection, a journey of continuous growth, conclusion: an ongoing odyssey.

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

  • What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
  • Whom do you admire most and why?
  • What are the top five things you are thankful for?
  • What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
  • What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

  • Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
  • Mention objects that have special significance to you.
  • Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

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First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Cite this Scribbr article

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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved February 22, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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Essay on Why I Love Myself: Embracing Self-Acceptance and Growth

Self-love is a powerful and transformative force that has the ability to shape our lives in profound ways. While we often express love and appreciation for others, it is equally important to extend that love to ourselves. In this essay, I will delve into the many reasons why I love myself, exploring the qualities, experiences, and self-acceptance that have led to a deep and enduring sense of self-love and self-worth.

Unconditional Acceptance

One of the foundational reasons why I love myself is the practice of unconditional self-acceptance. I have learned to embrace my flaws, imperfections, and unique qualities without judgment. This acceptance has allowed me to feel comfortable in my own skin and appreciate myself for who I am, rather than constantly seeking validation or approval from others.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity

My ability to bounce back and remain resilient in the face of life’s challenges is another reason why I love myself. I have encountered setbacks, failures, and difficult moments, but I have consistently demonstrated the strength and determination to persevere. This resilience has taught me the importance of self-belief and the capacity to overcome obstacles.

Pursuit of Personal Growth

I love myself for my unwavering commitment to personal growth and self-improvement. I recognize that growth is an ongoing journey, and I am dedicated to continually learning, evolving, and becoming a better version of myself. This pursuit of personal growth is a testament to my belief in my own potential.

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a quality I have cultivated and come to cherish. I have learned to treat myself with the same kindness, understanding, and empathy that I extend to others. This self-compassion has allowed me to navigate moments of self-doubt and self-criticism with greater ease and self-love.

Empathy and Compassion for Others

My capacity for empathy and compassion toward others is a reflection of the love I have for myself. By recognizing my own humanity and embracing my vulnerabilities, I am better equipped to connect with and support others on their own journeys. This interconnectedness reinforces my self-love.

A Healthy Lifestyle

Taking care of my physical and mental health is an expression of self-love. I prioritize self-care practices that promote well-being, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and mindfulness. These habits contribute to my overall health and reinforce my love for myself.

Pursuit of Passion and Purpose

I am passionate about pursuing my interests and purpose in life. This passion is a testament to my self-love, as it involves dedicating time and energy to activities and causes that bring me joy and fulfillment. By aligning my life with my passions and purpose, I nourish my sense of self-love.

Embracing Individuality

I celebrate my individuality and uniqueness as a reason to love myself. I understand that I am not defined by societal expectations or comparisons to others. Instead, I cherish the qualities and traits that make me distinctly myself, embracing my identity with pride.

Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations

I have cultivated a practice of positive self-talk and affirmations. I consciously challenge negative self-talk and replace it with empowering and uplifting statements. This practice bolsters my self-esteem and reinforces my self-love.

Forgiveness and Letting Go

Learning to forgive myself for past mistakes and letting go of regret is an essential aspect of my self-love journey. I recognize that mistakes are opportunities for growth, and I refuse to be weighed down by guilt or shame.

Cultivating Healthy Boundaries

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in my relationships is an act of self-love. I prioritize my own well-being and ensure that I am treated with respect and consideration. This commitment to boundaries protects my emotional and mental health.

Gratitude for Life’s Blessings

I express gratitude for the blessings and opportunities that life has bestowed upon me. This gratitude reinforces my self-love by highlighting the positive aspects of my life and fostering a sense of abundance.

Self-Expression and Creativity

I love myself for my ability to express my thoughts, emotions, and creativity freely. Self-expression is a vital outlet for me, allowing me to share my inner world with others and find fulfillment in creative endeavors.

Empowerment Through Learning

I am empowered by my thirst for knowledge and continuous learning. Education and personal development are key components of my self-love journey, as they enable me to expand my horizons and make informed choices.

Connection with Nature

My connection with nature is a source of profound self-love. Spending time outdoors, appreciating the beauty of the natural world, and recognizing my place within it all contribute to a deep sense of inner peace and self-love.

Embracing Vulnerability

I love myself for my willingness to embrace vulnerability. I understand that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength that allows me to connect with others on a deeper level. By being open about my emotions and experiences, I create authentic and meaningful relationships.

Self-Reflection and Mindfulness

Self-reflection and mindfulness are integral to my self-love journey. I regularly take time for introspection, evaluating my thoughts, emotions, and actions. This practice helps me understand myself better, identify areas for growth, and stay attuned to my inner needs.

Acts of Self-Care

Acts of self-care are a daily expression of self-love. Whether it’s taking a relaxing bath, indulging in a favorite book, or simply pausing to enjoy a cup of tea, these small moments of self-care remind me of my worth and the importance of nurturing my well-being.

Setting and Achieving Goals

I love myself for my ability to set meaningful goals and work diligently toward achieving them. The process of setting and attaining goals fosters a sense of accomplishment and reinforces my belief in my capabilities.

Overcoming Self-Doubt

Overcoming self-doubt is a significant aspect of my self-love journey. I recognize that self-doubt is a natural part of life, but I refuse to let it hold me back. Instead, I use self-doubt as a catalyst for growth and self-improvement.

Compassion for Past Mistakes

I extend compassion to my past self and acknowledge that mistakes are part of the human experience. Rather than dwelling on regret, I learn from my past mistakes and use them as stepping stones toward a better future.

Empowerment Through Authenticity

I embrace authenticity as a means of empowerment. Being true to myself, my values, and my beliefs allows me to live a life aligned with my true essence. Authenticity reinforces my self-love by honoring the person I am.

Gratitude for Inner Strength

I am grateful for the inner strength that has carried me through life’s challenges. This inner strength reminds me of my resilience and the capacity to overcome adversity, reinforcing my self-love.

Acts of Kindness Toward Myself

I practice acts of kindness toward myself on a daily basis. Whether it’s offering words of encouragement, giving myself permission to rest, or acknowledging my achievements, these acts of self-kindness reinforce my self-love.

Embracing Change and Growth

Change and growth are constants in life, and I love myself for my willingness to embrace them. I understand that personal evolution is a natural process, and I eagerly welcome the opportunities it brings.

A Sense of Purpose

I have cultivated a sense of purpose in my life, and this purpose fuels my self-love. Knowing that I contribute positively to the world and have a meaningful impact on others reinforces my sense of self-worth.

Connection with Loved Ones

My ability to connect with loved ones and foster meaningful relationships is a reflection of my self-love. I value the bonds I share with family and friends, and these connections enrich my life.

Cultivating Forgiveness

Forgiveness, both of others and myself, is a vital component of my self-love journey. I recognize that holding onto grudges or self-criticism is detrimental to my well-being, and forgiveness allows me to release negativity and find inner peace.

Embracing Life’s Journey

I love myself for my capacity to embrace the journey of life, with all its ups and downs. I recognize that life is a continuous learning experience, and each moment, whether joyous or challenging, contributes to my growth and self-love.

In conclusion, the reasons why I love myself are abundant and encompass a wide range of qualities and practices. My journey toward self-love has involved embracing vulnerability, practicing self-reflection, and prioritizing self-care. I celebrate my ability to set and achieve goals, overcome self-doubt, and extend compassion to my past mistakes. My commitment to authenticity, gratitude, and acts of kindness toward myself reinforces my self-love on a daily basis.

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Essay on What I Love About Myself

Students are often asked to write an essay on What I Love About Myself in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on What I Love About Myself

My optimism.

I love my optimistic nature. No matter how difficult the situation, I always try to find the silver lining. This helps me stay positive and motivated, even when things are tough. I believe that this optimism is one of my greatest strengths, and it has helped me to overcome many challenges in my life.

My Creativity

I love my creativity. I enjoy coming up with new ideas and finding new ways to express myself. Creativity is a gift, and I am grateful for the unique perspective that it gives me. I believe that creativity is an important part of being human, and I am proud of my ability to be creative.

My Compassion

I love my compassion. I care deeply about others, and I am always willing to help those in need. I believe that compassion is one of the most important qualities that a person can have, and I am proud to be a compassionate person.

250 Words Essay on What I Love About Myself

My confidence.

I am confident in my abilities and skills. I believe in myself and my potential. Whenever faced with a challenge, I am optimistic. I believe that with hard work and determination, I can and will achieve success. This confidence allows me to take risks, try new things and attain things that makes me proud.

I am a compassionate person. I care about others and their feelings. I am always willing to help those in need. When I see someone struggling, I try to do my part to make their life easier. I believe that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, and I strive to do my best to be a positive force in the lives of others.

My Sense of Humor

I have a good sense of humor. I can make people laugh, even when times are tough. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, and I always try to find the humor in any situation. A good laugh can lighten the mood and make a difficult situation more bearable.

My Work Ethic

I have a strong work ethic. I am always willing to put in the effort to get the job done. I am motivated and driven to succeed. No matter how difficult the task may be, I am determined to give it my all.

I am a creative person. I am always coming up with new ideas and solutions to problems. I am not afraid to think outside the box and try new things. I am always looking for ways to express my creativity, whether it is through art, music, or writing.

500 Words Essay on What I Love About Myself

What i love about myself.

I love many things about myself, from my strengths and accomplishments to my unique personality traits, because they make me who I am, and I am proud of the person I have become.

My Strengths and Accomplishments

I am a hard worker and always strive to do my best. I am also a good listener and can learn new things quickly. Because of this, I have been able to achieve many things in my life, both big and small. I am proud of the person I have become, as my strengths and accomplishments have helped me get to where I am today.

My Unique Personality Traits

I am a kind and compassionate person. I always try to see the best in people and I am always willing to help others. I am also a creative and imaginative person. I love to come up with new ideas and I am always looking for new ways to express myself. My unique personality traits make me who I am and I would not trade them for anything.

I love to make people laugh. I think laughter is the best medicine and I always try to find the humor in every situation. I am also a good storyteller and I love to share my stories with others. My sense of humor helps me connect with people and makes me a joy to be around.

My Determination

I am a determined person. When I set my mind to something, I never give up. I am always willing to work hard and I never let obstacles stand in my way. My determination has helped me achieve many things in my life and I am confident that it will continue to help me achieve my goals in the future.

In conclusion, I love many things about myself. My strengths, accomplishments, unique personality traits, sense of humor, and determination all make me who I am. I am proud of the person I have become and I am excited to see what the future holds.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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What I Love About Myself (Essay Sample)

Table of Contents

Introduction

What we love about ourselves is the degree of being contented with what we have. Being happy with your current situation represents the degree of satisfaction that can be relevant with your experience and practices. Having the belief to become successful indicates that there is a trusting relationship that you will establish with yourself. Success is what embodies a person’s achievable outcome, which is always related to their routines and practices for a certain period of time. This paper aims to discuss why a person loves what they are doing with their current situation. It highlights the notion on why a person loves their own selves in a consistent manner. It seeks to find out the reasons and outcomes associated with this issue.

There are factors why a person or I love about myself is the way I am raised by my family. This means that family factor is an important consideration why I love myself because I experienced the love that my family gave me. Economic factor is another reason because I have been financially stable throughout my life. I have been schooled in a decent academic institution as well as currently employed by an exclusive company. As a secured person, safety factor is essential because I believe that being protected by your community increases your confidence that you are living in a community wherein there is a tight security. But the most important is by doing your passion. This is because having the chance to concentrate on your passion increases your inspirational practice to become phenomenal in your field of interest as well as fulfilling your goals accentuated with your long-term interest.

The beneficial outcome of loving yourself means that you are able to satisfy your emotional integrity. A person becomes emotionally stable because they are aware that reaching their dreams and aspirations makes them to become a better person someday. For this reason, having the idea and capacity to live your life to the fullest allow a sense of creativity wherein one must have to enjoy the fruit of their labor. Being satisfied with your life increases your optimism in life. Most people who are happy are mostly contented with their well-being. However, for those who failed to reach their dreams or plans in life are often frustrated. And frustrations sometimes result into aggression, anxiety, and depression for some individuals who did not manage to accomplish their aspirations in life (Miller, et al., 2015).

It has been learned that what I love about myself is to speak my own mind on trying to inspire others how I managed to reach my goal. Being inspirational is something that is fulfilling to your dreams and aspirations in life. As a person, it is important to always share the values that were taught unto you by other motivators while you were on the stage of relinquishing your goals and visions in life. Sharing is something that is treasurable because you are able to provide an opportunity for others to grow and to let them become successful through your blessing. A satisfied and a well-accomplished individual can be used as a legend because they are able to take risks, which has been playing a vital role for allowing their routine and belief to consistently move forwards that seeks to change their lifestyle and visions.

  • Miller, Keith; Madland, David & Weller Christian E. (2015). “The Reality of the Retirement Crisis”. Center for American Progress. Archived from the original.

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COMMENTS

  1. What is Self-Love and Why Is It So Important?

    Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing. Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but...

  2. The Importance of Self-love: [Essay Example], 555 words

    Updated: 11 December, 2023 Loving myself is important to my life because, through self-love, I learn who I am. Loving myself has always been a key part of my life. Even if at some point in my life I didn't love myself. Being able to love myself had its challenges which had started like anyone else, I'm sure.

  3. The Reasons Why I Love Myself

    What I perceive, hear, feel, taste and smell. I also love my mind, and all of the thoughts and feelings that it generates. Whatever they may be. I love and accept myself, so that I can move towards knowing myself in the most sincere and subtle way I can.

  4. How I Learned to Love Myself

    1. I HAVE A SELF. I know, I know. This might sound annoyingly meta. Or maybe just silly. But, for me, it was a critical thing to learn. Obviously, I knew I existed. What I didn't know is where I stopped and someone else started.

  5. How I'm Learning to Love Myself: A Journey to Self-Love

    Learning to Love Myself 297 I am enough. In all of my forms-daughter, sister, friend, writer, traveler, lover. I am good enough. I am talented enough. I am confident. I am kind. I seek knowledge. I show compassion. I fail. I get back up. I am perfectly imperfect. I know who I am and what I stand for. I know what I need to change.

  6. Self-Love: The Most Important Love of your Life

    Self-love is about giving yourself grace and forgiveness when you inevitably make mistakes. It doesn't mean that you are arrogant, or even worse - a narcissist; "I am better than everyone else, and everyone should work to satisfy my needs.". It is about believing in yourself and trusting yourself and your intentions.

  7. Love Yourself, Accept Yourself, Forgive Yourself

    "Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things." ~Leo F. Buscaglia You mean I am a source of many wonderful things? Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it. Leo has it right. Love yourself.

  8. Self Love And Why It Matters

    1. Try to improve your self-talk Rawpixel Some people may grapple with harsh self-talk that is not loving and can even lower self-esteem. This could involve saying things such as, "I am not good at anything," "I can't do anything right," or anything else that tears them down.

  9. The importance of self-love and how to cultivate it

    Learning to listen to yourself. Listening to yourself can mean two things. Firstly, paying attention to how you internally talk to yourself is crucial for learning to cultivate an intimate feeling ...

  10. 7 Ways to Practice Self-Love

    Forgive Yourself. Cultivate ways to stop self-loathing in any form. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and find ways to heal. To incorporate self-love in your daily life, don't ruminate over mistakes and regrets. Rather than blame yourself for things that were probably out of your control anyway, turn to self-forgiveness.

  11. Learning to Love Yourself

    Loving yourself provides you with self-confidence, self-worth, and in general, you feel more positive. If you can learn to love yourself, you will feel happier and will learn to take better care of yourself. Looking in the mirror, most of us see a lot of different flaws and remember too many past experiences and failings to love ourselves.

  12. How I Learned to Love Myself [Free Essay Sample], 662 words

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    Loving yourself is the key to a happy life. When you love all that you are, unconditionally, life reflects that back to you. When you learn to love yourself, fully, you create a happy and loving environment to flourish in. When we lose sight of what's most important—loving self—we lose sight of our purpose.

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    Essay on Why I Love Myself: Embracing Self-Acceptance and Growth Self-love is a powerful and transformative force that has the ability to shape our lives in profound ways. While we often express love and appreciation for others, it is equally important to extend that love to ourselves.

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    Importance Of Love Yourself Essay 723 Words2 Pages Loving yourself is the key to a happy life. When you love all that you are, unconditionally, life reflects that back to you. When you learn to love yourself, fully, you create a happy, loving environment to flourish in.

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